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Out Of The Dark

by Paul Hammond

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Rich Eardley
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1.
I'm Coming Out Of The Dark 05:22
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All I wanted from you Was some love to see me through You never showed it, you never felt it? All I needed was some love from you It’s time you heard some truth Always me bowing down to you Everything I had to say All you did was push me away I’m coming out of the dark I’m coming through Don’t get in my way Whatever you do I’m coming out of the dark Get outta my way Now listen clear Cos I got something to say All those times I tried to get near You would stand right back All it did was fill me with fear All those times I reached out to you All I wanted to hear Was that you, you loved me too I’m coming out of the dark I had to break free Of that evil mind That was so mean to me I’m coming out the dark I had to run away Those games of yours I will no longer play It took me years to stand up to you But you pushed me over the line It took me years to break that fear of you Now I have done that I will be just fine I’m coming out of the dark I have no fear The headache’s gone My mind is clear I’m coming out of the dark Cos I was locked inside In a bad bad place All I could do was hide I’m coming out of the dark I was in such pain And it felt so bad I couldn’t talk your name I’m coming out of the dark I’m no longer scared of you But no I will never forget What you put me through I won’t ever let you that again I don’t expect anything from you Now it is what it is For me that will have to do
2.
That Man In The Picture 05:36
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I’ve been looking at the photographs Recalling memories from my distant past They were hidden away for many years Now I see them again so clear That man in the picture He was always there And to all outside It looked a normal affair That man in the picture No he didn’t care Standing there smiling With his arm around her Days out all together Everyone would go Twisted fucked up So sad you’d never know X2 That man in the picture He was always there Standing there smiling It was a sordid affair That man in the picture No he didn’t care Standing there smiling With his arm around here Some photographs are all about secrets The secrets we all have but will never tell A photograph is usually looked at but seldom looked into It is the picture itself that creates the illusion of innocence Every photo tells a story Ironies of frozen narrative Captured moments in time Sometimes the person in the picture should have swapped places with the person holding the camera That man in the picture He was always there Standing there smiling It was a sordid affair That man in the picture No he didn’t care Standing there brazen With his arm around her Now I’m looking again With open eyes And I know what you did And now I realise Now I’m looking again Through open eyes It was so long ago How can you moralise?
3.
Overthink 03:36
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I’m trying hard to make sense of this Work it all out Work it all out I’m trying hard to write these words Write it all down Write it all down I lie awake late at night While you all sleep You all sleep All these thoughts keeps swirling around But talk is cheap Talk is cheap Over think x 4 Another day Another theme Another dream too extreme Nothing is as it seems Confusion reigns supreme Struggling to shake the past Now the years are passing too fast Passing too fast You know a fragile peace Will never last It will never ever last Everyday I feel so on edge Always harassed x 2 Every night I lay there awake Always harrassed x 2
4.
Hang Your Heads In Shame 04:00
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There’s War on the radio There’s war on TV People running from bombs In their thousands they flee Pictures of children All covered in blood Pictures of children With their face in the mud Leaders of the world Hang your heads in shame Those people in power You must take the blame Watch those bombers As they fly overhead Wait for the bang That’s another few dead Watch that rocket As it lights up the sky Hear their screams As it explodes and they die The governments always hiding You know it’s they who arm both sides A frenzied media always lying Death, power, corruption peddling lives Shipping bullets all over the world Those dollars they’ll pay for the guns You know it’s they who arm both sides Those dollars they’ll pay for the guns Watch those families As they run away Watch those families As they drown in the sea See those bodies Washed up on the beach It’s seems like peace Can never be reached
5.
This Is A Sickness 05:04
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Afflicted – Restricted Addicted - Depicted Sickness - This is a sickness Afflicted - Sickness Depression – Anxiety Is feeding my insanity I’ve been suffering silently And it affects my mentality I’m a changing personality But I’m fighting defiantly With ongoing psychiatry I don’t want to be a casualty This is a sickness I’ve been inflicted This is a sickness I’m now restricted This is a sickness I used to do so much I used to party all night I used to take all the drugs I wouldn't walk away from a fight I used to do so much I used to party all night I was a person who couldn't say no My confidence it overflowed Nothing is as it was before My confidence low down on the floor Nothing means so much anymore Don’t want to go outside the door I’ll fight it one day at a time Cos Tomorrow I might feel just fine I don’t want to just fade away I just need to get through today When I look well it’s hard to tell That inside I’m going through hell On the outside I might look so fit But on the inside I’m really sick
6.
Mental Void 04:29
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I’m just a mental void Perhaps I’m paranoid A shadow of myself A mental state of health Tell me what is going on Coz something’s going wrong I’m just a faceless mess I need to be caressed I’m gonna scream and shout Shut these demons out Tell me what is going on Coz something’s going wrong A shadow of myself A mental state of health Tell me what is going on There’s nothing left it’s gone There’s nothing left it’s gone Everything’s gone
7.
Is This What It Feels like (To Be Depressed?) 06:13
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There’s a fear that comes over me It’s the fear of anxiety It’s really got a hold on me Don’t want people so close to me Now I’m not blind but I can’t see There’s a wall built up around me It’s really got a hold on me This fear called anxiety I don’t wanna get up I don’t wanna go out I don’t wanna get dressed Is this what it feels like to be depressed? I don’t wanna be on my own But I don’t want you around Don’t wanna go out, don’t wanna get dressed Is this what it feels like to be depressed? I need to talk to understand Understand myself, my own demands I need to protect myself from me Cos I could hurt myself most probably I’m not as strong as I appear I wanna stay in here, contain my fear The only thing to me that’s clear I cant bear you close not even near Do you ever feel the same as me? Do you ever feel the same as me? Where nothing can make you feel happy? I never wanna go to sleep I don’t wanna feel wide awake I need to close my eyes But at the same time keep them open wide I don’t know what I’m trying to say But it doesn’t matter anyway I’m contradicting myself all the time Caught in that space in between the line I don’t expect you to understand I don’t expect you to offer your hand I don’t understand myself, myself All I know is that I’m not well, I’m not well
8.
Ugly Mug 03:00
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So, what you gonna post today? More pictures of your ugly face? A change of clothes, a change of hair? You should really sort out that dental care! Posting selfies on your timeline But that’s not you, you ain’t so slimline Fishing for likes, someone new Get the best picture for the world to view So, what you gonna say today? More false words cos the truth ain’t great Go fund me this, go fund me that Talking through your arse you’re so full of crap What’s wrong with you? Have you got no shame? It’s a different thing everyday Just a different mask on the same face Shiny nose – dog face Big ears it’s a bunny face Big eyes – big spex Big tongue – cyber sex! So, what you gonna post today? More pictures of your ugly face? A change of clothes, a change of hair? But you really need to sort out that dental care So, what you gonna say today? More false words cos the truth ain’t great Go fund me this, go fund me that Talking through your arse again you’re full of crap Ugly mug You've got an ugly face
9.
Old Hag 05:40
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Go to sleep I want to go to sleep But there’s something in here I can feel it near There’s something in the room But I can’t see it through the gloom Twitching my eyes Twitching my eyes Am I awake? Am I alive? Am I asleep….yet? I can’t move There’s something in the room I can feel it close to me There’s something right beside me A dark black entity I’m waiting for you I’m here lying on my back I can’t move, my legs are cold I’m waiting for you Paralyzed, terrified Immobilised, amplified Throw me around Crash back down on me Lift me up in the air I can smell your filthy hair Hissing, dripping No resistance Hold me down Hold me down I can’t see you But I can feel you Pinning me down Pinning me down It’s crushing my chest It’s squashing my chest I’m in the mare Now I am scared I’m in the old hags nest In the nest She’s crushing my chest In the nest, in the nest Then it’s gone Am I awake? It’s gone Am I asleep? I’m 6 foot in the air x 2 Looking down on me x 2 I’m in the old hags nest She’s crushing my chest Hissing, dripping, invisible weight Awaiting my fate Conversing with the dead Get out of my head Leave me alone Get off my bed Is this how it goes? Is this how it ends? Leave me alone Get out of my head Bang – bang – dead!

about

First new album in 11 years features 8 brand new tracks plus a new recording of the GMX Stuns track 'Mental Void' from 1994.

credits

released January 29, 2018

All songs written, recorded & produced by Paul Hammond 2018 (C)

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Paul Hammond Prestatyn, UK

A collection of works by singer songwriter producer Paul Hammond,
Psycho Sexual Sex Terrestrials,
GMX Stuns,
Sentient & More
1991 - Present. Now presenting his own radio show Punk AF!

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