1. |
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All I wanted from you
Was some love to see me through
You never showed it, you never felt it?
All I needed was some love from you
It’s time you heard some truth
Always me bowing down to you
Everything I had to say
All you did was push me away
I’m coming out of the dark
I’m coming through
Don’t get in my way
Whatever you do
I’m coming out of the dark
Get outta my way
Now listen clear
Cos I got something to say
All those times
I tried to get near
You would stand right back
All it did was fill me with fear
All those times
I reached out to you
All I wanted to hear
Was that you, you loved me too
I’m coming out of the dark
I had to break free
Of that evil mind
That was so mean to me
I’m coming out the dark
I had to run away
Those games of yours
I will no longer play
It took me years to stand up to you
But you pushed me over the line
It took me years to break that fear of you
Now I have done that I will be just fine
I’m coming out of the dark
I have no fear
The headache’s gone
My mind is clear
I’m coming out of the dark
Cos I was locked inside
In a bad bad place
All I could do was hide
I’m coming out of the dark
I was in such pain
And it felt so bad
I couldn’t talk your name
I’m coming out of the dark
I’m no longer scared of you
But no I will never forget
What you put me through
I won’t ever let you that again
I don’t expect anything from you
Now it is what it is
For me that will have to do
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2. |
That Man In The Picture
05:36
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I’ve been looking at the photographs
Recalling memories from my distant past
They were hidden away for many years
Now I see them again so clear
That man in the picture
He was always there
And to all outside
It looked a normal affair
That man in the picture
No he didn’t care
Standing there smiling
With his arm around her
Days out all together
Everyone would go
Twisted fucked up
So sad you’d never know X2
That man in the picture
He was always there
Standing there smiling
It was a sordid affair
That man in the picture
No he didn’t care
Standing there smiling
With his arm around here
Some photographs are all about secrets
The secrets we all have but will never tell
A photograph is usually looked at but seldom looked into
It is the picture itself that creates the illusion of innocence
Every photo tells a story
Ironies of frozen narrative
Captured moments in time
Sometimes the person in the picture should have swapped places with the person holding the camera
That man in the picture
He was always there
Standing there smiling
It was a sordid affair
That man in the picture
No he didn’t care
Standing there brazen
With his arm around her
Now I’m looking again
With open eyes
And I know what you did
And now I realise
Now I’m looking again
Through open eyes
It was so long ago
How can you moralise?
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3. |
Overthink
03:36
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I’m trying hard to make sense of this
Work it all out
Work it all out
I’m trying hard to write these words
Write it all down
Write it all down
I lie awake late at night
While you all sleep
You all sleep
All these thoughts keeps swirling around
But talk is cheap
Talk is cheap
Over think x 4
Another day
Another theme
Another dream too extreme
Nothing is as it seems
Confusion reigns supreme
Struggling to shake the past
Now the years are passing too fast
Passing too fast
You know a fragile peace
Will never last
It will never ever last
Everyday I feel so on edge
Always harassed x 2
Every night I lay there awake
Always harrassed x 2
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4. |
Hang Your Heads In Shame
04:00
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There’s War on the radio
There’s war on TV
People running from bombs
In their thousands they flee
Pictures of children
All covered in blood
Pictures of children
With their face in the mud
Leaders of the world
Hang your heads in shame
Those people in power
You must take the blame
Watch those bombers
As they fly overhead
Wait for the bang
That’s another few dead
Watch that rocket
As it lights up the sky
Hear their screams
As it explodes and they die
The governments always hiding
You know it’s they who arm both sides
A frenzied media always lying
Death, power, corruption peddling lives
Shipping bullets all over the world
Those dollars they’ll pay for the guns
You know it’s they who arm both sides
Those dollars they’ll pay for the guns
Watch those families
As they run away
Watch those families
As they drown in the sea
See those bodies
Washed up on the beach
It’s seems like peace
Can never be reached
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5. |
This Is A Sickness
05:04
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Afflicted – Restricted
Addicted - Depicted
Sickness - This is a sickness
Afflicted - Sickness
Depression – Anxiety
Is feeding my insanity
I’ve been suffering silently
And it affects my mentality
I’m a changing personality
But I’m fighting defiantly
With ongoing psychiatry
I don’t want to be a casualty
This is a sickness
I’ve been inflicted
This is a sickness
I’m now restricted
This is a sickness
I used to do so much
I used to party all night
I used to take all the drugs
I wouldn't walk away from a fight
I used to do so much
I used to party all night
I was a person who couldn't say no
My confidence it overflowed
Nothing is as it was before
My confidence low down on the floor
Nothing means so much anymore
Don’t want to go outside the door
I’ll fight it one day at a time
Cos Tomorrow I might feel just fine
I don’t want to just fade away
I just need to get through today
When I look well it’s hard to tell
That inside I’m going through hell
On the outside I might look so fit
But on the inside I’m really sick
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6. |
Mental Void
04:29
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I’m just a mental void
Perhaps I’m paranoid
A shadow of myself
A mental state of health
Tell me what is going on
Coz something’s going wrong
I’m just a faceless mess
I need to be caressed
I’m gonna scream and shout
Shut these demons out
Tell me what is going on
Coz something’s going wrong
A shadow of myself
A mental state of health
Tell me what is going on
There’s nothing left it’s gone
There’s nothing left it’s gone
Everything’s gone
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7. |
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There’s a fear that comes over me
It’s the fear of anxiety
It’s really got a hold on me
Don’t want people so close to me
Now I’m not blind but I can’t see
There’s a wall built up around me
It’s really got a hold on me
This fear called anxiety
I don’t wanna get up
I don’t wanna go out
I don’t wanna get dressed
Is this what it feels like to be depressed?
I don’t wanna be on my own
But I don’t want you around
Don’t wanna go out, don’t wanna get dressed
Is this what it feels like to be depressed?
I need to talk to understand
Understand myself, my own demands
I need to protect myself from me
Cos I could hurt myself most probably
I’m not as strong as I appear
I wanna stay in here, contain my fear
The only thing to me that’s clear
I cant bear you close not even near
Do you ever feel the same as me?
Do you ever feel the same as me?
Where nothing can make you feel happy?
I never wanna go to sleep
I don’t wanna feel wide awake
I need to close my eyes
But at the same time keep them open wide
I don’t know what I’m trying to say
But it doesn’t matter anyway
I’m contradicting myself all the time
Caught in that space in between the line
I don’t expect you to understand
I don’t expect you to offer your hand
I don’t understand myself, myself
All I know is that I’m not well, I’m not well
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8. |
Ugly Mug
03:00
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So, what you gonna post today?
More pictures of your ugly face?
A change of clothes, a change of hair?
You should really sort out that dental care!
Posting selfies on your timeline
But that’s not you, you ain’t so slimline
Fishing for likes, someone new
Get the best picture for the world to view
So, what you gonna say today?
More false words cos the truth ain’t great
Go fund me this, go fund me that
Talking through your arse you’re so full of crap
What’s wrong with you?
Have you got no shame?
It’s a different thing everyday
Just a different mask on the same face
Shiny nose – dog face
Big ears it’s a bunny face
Big eyes – big spex
Big tongue – cyber sex!
So, what you gonna post today?
More pictures of your ugly face?
A change of clothes, a change of hair?
But you really need to sort out that dental care
So, what you gonna say today?
More false words cos the truth ain’t great
Go fund me this, go fund me that
Talking through your arse again you’re full of crap
Ugly mug
You've got an ugly face
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9. |
Old Hag
05:40
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Go to sleep
I want to go to sleep
But there’s something in here
I can feel it near
There’s something in the room
But I can’t see it through the gloom
Twitching my eyes
Twitching my eyes
Am I awake?
Am I alive?
Am I asleep….yet?
I can’t move
There’s something in the room
I can feel it close to me
There’s something right beside me
A dark black entity
I’m waiting for you
I’m here lying on my back
I can’t move, my legs are cold
I’m waiting for you
Paralyzed, terrified
Immobilised, amplified
Throw me around
Crash back down on me
Lift me up in the air
I can smell your filthy hair
Hissing, dripping
No resistance
Hold me down
Hold me down
I can’t see you
But I can feel you
Pinning me down
Pinning me down
It’s crushing my chest
It’s squashing my chest
I’m in the mare
Now I am scared
I’m in the old hags nest
In the nest
She’s crushing my chest
In the nest, in the nest
Then it’s gone
Am I awake?
It’s gone
Am I asleep?
I’m 6 foot in the air x 2
Looking down on me x 2
I’m in the old hags nest
She’s crushing my chest
Hissing, dripping, invisible weight
Awaiting my fate
Conversing with the dead
Get out of my head
Leave me alone
Get off my bed
Is this how it goes?
Is this how it ends?
Leave me alone
Get out of my head
Bang – bang – dead!
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Paul Hammond Prestatyn, UK
A collection of works by singer songwriter producer Paul Hammond,
Psycho Sexual Sex Terrestrials,
GMX Stuns,
Sentient & More
1991 - Present. Now presenting his own radio show Punk AF!
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